I wish, I wish, I wish. if i can be just like a Snow White in Disney fairy tales, i am the luckiest one. Or could be a Cinderella but in fact the glass slippers never belonged to me, Gila sedih. I have too many wishes yang satu pun belum termakbul. Too many causes why and why must i argue the "BIG WHY"? You have more than enough Izzy don't you? Biasa lah manusia tak pernah puas. If I can point out what question do I frequently ask to myself and this world...I think it would be...."Why?"
Why...to Allah, to my mom, my dad, my brother, my sisters, my future sons & daughters, my best friends, my friends, my uncle and aunt, my cousins, my teachers, my so-called destiny, my worries, my fear, my tears, my choice of education, my unexposed talents, my untouched hobby, my abandoned ideas, my history, my past, my memories, my mistakes, my stupid acts, my childhood, my dislike towards chocolates, my dream, my emotions, my sympathy, my sensitivity, my anger, my dreams, my ego, my so-called future, my fights, my stupidity, my way of dressing, my low confidence, my obsessions, my disappointment, my concealed thoughts, the hypocricy, the war, the hatred, politics, nepotism, corruption, the racism, the murders and crimes, the abusements, the gossips, the false news, the covered secrets, the perception of an ideal life, the glamorous life, the stupid television shows, the bounded human rights and etc.
Whyyyyy I still dont have a babies ?????.
Damn, stop it! It is really depressed me if i keep thinking about each of it.
Everything in a the true world are very related to me. I have been surrounded with so many kind of people. Some are funny and some are quite depressing, if I may say that. Until now i feel like enough to act like i pretend that i don't mind for everything they did to me. The peeps who talked bad behind me, i feel like i don't care anymore. In reality, i have somebody who are more precious, my family and true friends who are more valuable than everything. They are not my fairy tales like i wish been surrounded by beautiful and nice people. Because the-they-are-not-my-fairy-tales are the people who have been thru with me for many years. Who knows my bad and good side. So that they are more than enough. As long as i am not in a wrong path for them, i feel good definitely good. And what i realized, i should not begging to Allah to give me all the "I wish" because, i am grateful for what i have in my life. They know me very well, bak kata orang yang dikejar bukan lah sesuatu terbaik untuk kita, yang dikendong adalah lebih bermakna. And now i feel release :)
I wonder, ada kah orang yang totally never been heartbroken, depressed or some kind of that like a normal one like me? If yes, kau dah boleh daftarkan diri ke fairy tales jadi Snow White No.2..You know like "Happily ever after" or "Forever After" and etc never exists. Aku sudah berpijak di Bumi yang nyata. Yknow, the ups and downs. Dah dewasa.
Anyway, selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin to all muslimin muslimah.